Losing Marbles

In this fast moving world, we often lose track of the things that symbolizes our roots, our notable pedigree, our culture. And those that still unfailingly practice the inherited custom more often than not, be seen as strange people who had lost their marbles. Over the weekend, I had to be the host for these ‘strange’ people whom, I was informed beforehand, had an interest on my female cousin. They came to merisik – the custom that I understand but have no idea how it is done.

Merisik – not to be confused with spying or any espionage activities, actually means a custom where the man’s family meets the woman’s family to submit their interest to embark on a more serious relationship between the man and woman. It is the first step, which eventually leads them towards engagement and finally, marriage.

Seated in semi-circle, an old man, in his 60s perhaps, broke the silence with the salam and stunned everyone with a pantun –a type of rhyme in Malay. Despite the hoarse voice, he uttered words that sounded so gentle, cheery, wisely-phrased but direct.

60’s datuk: … ingin kami bertanya, adakah bunga ditaman sudah berpunya? (to seek if the lady is currently attached to anyone)

The datuk was throwing or more appropriately, “selling” the pantun to our side of which we (by no choice) have to “buy” by responding to his inquiry, preferably in pantun or anything that rhymes, except rapping.

The family spokesperson: …hati ini satu, dan belum terikat mahupun dimiliki (saying that the lady is available and not attached to anyone).

From thereon, they exchanged hantarans (gifts)and began to discuss on future arrangements i.e. engagement, marriage. It is indeed a very delicate ceremony. Both sides being very tactful in “tricky” situations with continuous exchanges of pantuns, minding every word spoken, every act performed. Yet, laughter filled the air, with typical sarcastic jokes on polygamy, Samy Vellu and how to plant seedless durian. ‘Strange’ people? Yes, they are still.